I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
