I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
