Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
