I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
