Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
