Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
