It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Damn victory sex feels great
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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