Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
