I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
