Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
worst night to have a conscience
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
