HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We are all done wearing pants today
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
