Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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