i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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