I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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