Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
