Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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