its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I need to align my fucking chakras
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
