Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
