well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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