just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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