I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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