i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
