If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
