he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
