Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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