Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
