And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
