how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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