She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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