You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
