Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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