I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
