Pappa wants mamma naked
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
