i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
