Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
