3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
