are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
