I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
