dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
