Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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