I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
ok first of all what the fuck
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
