I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
