they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
