They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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