Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize