I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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