I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
