That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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