I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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