i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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