I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
