I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
