i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
