Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize