im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
