The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize