Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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