Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
