Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
