He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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