I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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