I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize